I’m writing my first post on the first day of the second half of 2018. It seems fitting, as today’s the day I decided I want to start healing. I want the rest of the year to be the time I recover so I can face 2019 rejuvenated, inspired and whole.

So far this year has been painful and tough—one of the toughest I’ve had since I learned my mom had cancer back in 2010. But it also reminded me of my resilience, and of the strength I get from my family, especially now that I have Warren and Maiella. S#!t happens, no matter how hard you try to lead a righteous, just life. The people you love and support can sometimes hurt you again and again until you’re pushed to the edge and there’s nothing else left to do but to let go and let God.

This year has drained me mentally, emotionally and financially. But today that’s going to change. Today I start my healing… and here’s how I plan to do it.

Attitude of Gratitude

I have started using the Five Minute Journal when I was at my lowest, and it worked like a charm. I’ve always practiced thinking of at least five things that I am thankful for at the end of the day, but writing them down and affirming myself the first thing in the morning somehow makes it more real to me. It helps me focus on the good. It makes me appreciate (and even yearn for) the mundane. I’m excited to look back on this journal at the end of the year to see how far I’ve come.

Moving…regularly

I’m a big stress-eater and this year just proved that again. We went on a family vacation and it was painful for me to look at the pictures because I’m so big! My weight added to the heaviness of my heart, and although I have a very supportive and loving husband, I know I need to start (and keep on) moving. I have weight loss goal of 15lbs. by the end of this year. FIFTEEN POUNDS. Oh wow why did I just declare this??? Now I’m accountable! Game on!

Spending more time with nature (and my loved ones)

Moving to the suburbs last year was the best decision we have made as a married couple. I like the slow pace and the quiet (it took a while for Warren to like it as much as I do–or maybe we’re not even there yet!) but what I appreciate most is being able to drive less than 30 minutes to the beach, or less than 10 minutes to a park where I can watch Maiella run and play. The community we live in built this nice little pergola just a few steps from the back of our home, and they’re filling this area with flowers. I enjoy spending quiet mornings and early afternoons there with my coffee and my loves.

Eliminating (or at least avoiding) the trigger 

They say you can get almost anything working again after a few minutes of unplugging– this works well with any machine and as well as people. I’m still learning to disconnect every so often, and giving myself the permission to be quiet when stress is building up. This is how I take care of myself and how I preserve my energy (and sanity!) for my family.

Worship and Service 

I admit I am a work in progress in worshipping each day, but I found that it’s the single most comforting thing that I can do for myself when I feel overwhelmed. So yes, I have improved on this especially these past couple of months!

And in my desire to be a part of a community, I started to volunteer at our local parish to become a lector. I’ve had experience in reading during the mass, even had a short stint at Sambuhay TV Mass (a project by TV Maria that broadcasts Filipino masses weekly on Youtube) back in the Philippines, but somehow I feel conscious. Most of the volunteers here are much older and more experienced. I’m thankful that we are currently undergoing training. I love getting to know people and learning! I’ll be able to start Sunday mass readings in July! Another thing to look forward to!

Reconnecting with passion

A month ago I started working with Lique Dimayuga of LD Design and Creative Pursuits for my business’ branding. Not only did she do wonders with my new logo, she also reminded me of my “why”. What my family went through this year has got me questioning if I should give up my love for event planning, but through Lique’s exercises and our brainstorming meetings I felt my passion revived. Now we have Fête by Janina‘s new look almost ready, and I can’t wait to share it with you!

These are just a few steps I’m taking, and there’s a lot more to do as I’m just starting this journey. We all go through different seasons and if the past 3 years of my life was any indication of how the Lord can turn any trial into triumph, then I’m excited to see what He has in store for me and my family after we ride out this storm. Today I stop playing the victim and I press on forward because as cliché as it may sound, I know the best is yet to come.