It’s Friday afternoon and I’m sitting at a Starbucks with my a friend as I tried to come up with a post for my birthday this coming Sunday. My birthdays usually mark something for my blog– whether it’s a new logo, a design update… and though the past 2 years had been quiet for me (or my writing), I thought I’d bring back that tradition by at least writing a post.

So I’m turning 35. Am I where I imagined myself to be 5 or 10 years ago? Yes and no. If there’s anything I have learned the past 3 decades it’s that life is just a continuous work in progress.  That being said, I am feeling a little philosophical today so I decided to share with you 35 things that are going through my mind, lessons I have learned and I’m living by.

1. My priorities changed when I became a mom. In my 20s I’ve always been on the go– filling up my calendar with work, social activities, charity, and passion projects. I got married at 30 and I still dreamed of pursuing of everything that I want to achieve in life. Once I became a mom, I valued slowing down and being able to spend time with my husband, Yella… my entire family.
2. I’m less adventurous too– and that’s okay. I can now go out without doing any social drinking and still have fun. I can hang out with my friends and not ride the roller coaster that scared the $#!t out of me ever since, and that’s okay. I got to let go of my FOMO.
3.  I wish I started on skincare early on in life. Lol. I took pride of getting away of just washing my face with Safeguard bar soap when I was in high school and I still didn’t get acne. I wish I realized early on the value of a good moisturizer. And sunblock! Very very important!
4. True friends stay— even if you don’t speak with them for months don’t see them for years.
5. Giving will always leave you with more. When you’re a giver, the universe will always find a way to give back what you lost, and more.
6. Similar to #5: YOU CAN NEVER OUT-GIVE GOD. He will always make sure what you give will come back to you ten-fold.
7. I wish I took care of my body more when I was younger-– that I worked out enough, ate healthy and slept early. I am working on these know but I wish I got into that habit earlier. Like WAY earlier. I feel like once I hit 25 my metabolism just… stopped.
8. Happiness can be found in the smallest, simplest things.
9. Talent can get your foot on the door… but character will make you stay in the room. 
10. It’s okay to be scared… but do it anyway. This is what has gotten me through my past 15 years of work life in different industries that I never saw myself in when I was younger!
11. There is always (God’s) grace beneath the struggle. 
12. Be there for others, and give as much as you can… but never leave yourself behind. Had to learn this the hard way, and it almost cost me my health, sanity and my relationship with my husband.
13. My baby girl’s love for me is in its purest form RIGHT NOW. I always try to remember this when I feel tired or frustrated. She’ll grow up (fast) and will have a life of her own. Right now, I’m all she wants and I’m all she needs. I want to savor that a little bit longer.

    

14. When I see red flags in potential clients, I have to decline. Wedding planning and coordinating to ensure that everything runs smooth on the day is stressful enough. I need to have clients who trust me and be on my side as much as I am on theirs.
15. Give 100% in any work that you do. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.” (Colossians 3:23-24)
16. In the industry I chose to be in, and in the work that I do, I give my whole heart. It’s just how it is, and it’s (I think) how I am able to do great work. Being in a journey with a couple and helping them make their dream wedding come true– I would not have it any other way.

17. Your perspective changes when you look at things with a grateful heart. 

18. I now, more than ever, appreciate my parents’ sacrifices in order for us to have a good life.

19. Life is short. Way too short especially for some. I am thinking of Mama Sha, my cousin’s wife who was close to me when I was growing up. We lost her back in 2014 when she was just 36. I am also thinking of Katkat, my cousin who passed in 2017 due to cancer. She was a year younger than me.

20. Everyday morning I wake up is a blessing. Every moment I get to spend with my family is a blessing. I have to savor each moment and tell them how much I love them.

21. Sometimes things just don’t go the way you planned. Being in the events industry has taken me out of my comfort zone so many times– and allowed me to be flexible and always on my feet to make adjustments and be more understanding.

22. Somehow, someway, the decisions you make today will affect your tomorrow…

23. …so you always need to be guided by prayer. 🙂

24. My dad always tells us this: Treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.

25. People will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou

26. I can always change my mindset. I always (try my best to) train my mind to shift perspectives so I can see how others’ see, and understand where others are coming from.

27. Assume nothing. I remember a college professor told me that this is his main mantra in life. We automatically interpret the things we hear, and sadly, make it about us. So we get hurt, we get anxious, and frustrated. Don’t assume anything, and take what is in front of you at face value.

28. Write. it. down! 🙂 I live by this rule– if I don’t write it, I usually forget. Lol. I am such a clutterbrain, this is the main thing that keeps my life organized.

29. Read read read. It’s still the best way to learn. Sadly ever since I became a mom, I found less and less time doing this. I miss reading books over the weekend or during my morning commute to work. I should create time to read.

30. Don’t be afraid to share your talent. I’ve always been my worst critic and would never call myself a writer. But I like writing down my thoughts, and through the years that I have blogged, I love hearing from readers that they get encouraged and even inspired by what I write. I turn to my cousin/spiritual advisor ate Janice whenever I feel scared or ashamed. It’s best to have someone who believes in you even at times when you don’t believe in yourself.

31. Never be afraid to be a beginner. Everyone started somewhere. 🙂

32. Related to #31: Never be afraid to ask for help. 

33. A little quality time with yourself never hurts. Thankfully my husband supports me 100% whenever I tell him I need time away from the house, even if it’s just to “date myself” at a coffee shop. No matter how short these trips are, I go back home refreshed and recharged. 🙂

34. You don’t have to be like every mom out there. I still tell this to myself– with the influx of information online, plus when I see other moms your age being more… “mommy-like” than me… I have to remind myself that I don’t have to be like them in order to be a “great” mom. I learn at my own pace, and so long as my child and my husband are happy and appreciative of what I do, then I’m good!

35. Between work/fame/fortune and my family… It will always choose my family. 🙂 Warren and Maiella are my life now, and they are everything I need.