My daughter doesn’t like going to Disneyland. 

Maiella, our first born, loves Mickey and Minnie and the rest of the gang with all her heart. But being in Disney World is just too much for her. I noticed this the first time we took her to Magic Kingdom on her second birthday. But didn’t really fully understand why until years later. I thought that with her fascination about anything Mickey that age, it is something that she would enjoy. Who wouldn’t? Growing up, it was what I have always wanted, and I wasn’t able to go until I was 12. In our family, it’s actually a privilege to be able to, because we’re from the Philippines, and the US is just too far. I wanted Maiella to feel the magic that I felt upon seeing the castle for the first time, and all the Disney princesses I met— but I thought wrong.

I thought it was the extreme heat in Florida that triggered her meltdown. She only calmed down after (as any parents’ last resort) we gave her our phone so she can watch videos. She fell asleep while we rode the “It’s a Small World”— the one ride I was so sure she would love! I remember feeling so frustrated, and even getting into a fight with my husband, because we traveled far for this gift, yet she’s unable to enjoy it because she was having “one of those days”. I know, it is just too much to put on a two-year old.

So we tried again after a few years, this time, during her little sister’s second birthday. By then she was already five. She was so excited on the way, expressed all the things she wanted to see, buy, and eat. She knew the names of more Disney princesses than me, so I thought to myself, this is great! I was excited as she was, and we were so hyped that Katrice, my second-born, was getting excited too, even if she only knew Minnie and Daisy.

We got to Magic Kingdom shortly after lunch and just in time for the parade. This is it! We even found a spot directly below the deck where the characters will wave to their fans. But as soon as the music came, the first batch of floats and performers came out… Maiella asked me to go to the bathroom— no, she actually begged. She insisted she needed to go right away, and refused to take no for an answer. She grabbed my hand and started running, and we found the bathroom with the family area, where there’s a nursing station, and a resting area for moms with newborns. It was cool, calm and quiet, and I saw her settle down. She didn’t need to pee. She just sat there while holding my hand, seemingly trying to calm herself down.

Almost immediately, I teared up. I felt bad not because we were missing the parade, but because it took me this long to understand her. You see, Maiella was diagnosed with Expressive-Receptive Language Disorder when she was four. The overstimulation (the sights, the sounds, the crowd, and everything else going on) in Disneyland’s Magic Kingdom, she couldn’t communicate that it was too much to handle for her. She had a meltdown when she was two, because she didn’t have the words to express these feelings yet. When she was five, she still couldn’t fully express it, but have found ways of coping through it.

So we sat in that quiet room for a few minutes, and when we she was ready to go outside, we got ice cream, and that made her smile. 

The next day was a mommy and daddy day— we went out to play golf with my brother-in-law and my four-year-old nephew. Thankfully, Disney golf courses allow kids to be with you, so we took Maiella with us. It was a much different kid this time around. No tantrums, no fears or frustrations. She is absolutely in love with nature, and the greens and trees, the lakes and the nice wind on our faces was a dream for her. I think she had way more fun than all of us who played combined. She was in her element, communicating with us, describing what she sees and what we were doing, and expressing that she was so happy. 

Ever since she was diagnosed with the language disorder, I have been researching and learning about it so we can find ways to help her. I have been so worried about how she will handle situations without us, like in school. She’s taken great strides since her first speech therapy, and it has been amazing seeing her progress. But as a mom, it took me a while to realize that I also needed to also learn, understand, and process things for myself. I have been putting Maiella in a box— expecting her to enjoy what other kids enjoy, comparing her to well-behaved kids when we’re out, trying to shut her down when she’s feeling hyper and excited, and yes, even telling her what I think she should say or how she should feel at certain situations.

Parents, do not come down too hard on your children, or you’ll crush their spirits.
Colossians 3:21 (MSG)

I need to be mindful and present at all times so I can fully accept her and her uniqueness, and understand her and her needs. It takes effort and practice doing this (I easily check out because of so many distractions), but I noticed that this greatly improved my relationship with her, and made me appreciate her more. And I think that being appreciated and feeling loved helped a lot with her confidence, too. She is now a lot more outgoing in school and other social settings. With mindfulness, presence, and just a tad bit more patience, Maiella became much happier— and she didn’t even need to go to Disneyland.