Last weekend, we were rewarded a trip to the beautiful islands of Nevis and St. Kitts in the Caribbean.

I say “rewarded” because that’s what it literally was: a trip sponsored by Warren’s company for their top performers. They call it the President’s Club. What’s different about this is from other company trips is, each employee gets to bring a plus one, someone they believe helped them become the top performer that they are. They recognize the people behind their employees, and invited them to be a part of the company’s celebration— their President made this very clear in his welcome speech.

It was a reward I didn’t feel I deserved. Why do I get to go?

Over five months postpartum, I still get all the feels and struggles when it comes to on what to do, and what to do first. A line from a book I’m currently reading encapsulates exactly how I feel:

“When i first became a mother, i deeply grieved the transition from my old life to the new. I tried desperately to keep one foot in the life we had before and one foot in this motherhood territory, and it was exhausting and impossible” (Crystal Stine, Holy Hustle)

Three kids in, you’d think I was already a pro. But I feel the exact opposite. There’s so much I want to do, both for my family and myself. And while try to do was much as I could; I was always exhausted. I always felt close to being empty.

I think Warren sees this, and he lets me have my “me time” whenever our schedule would allow. This helps me do focused work for a couple of hours: whether it’s for my business, which I am trying to grow now that I’m out of a full-time job, or writing, like what I am doing now, or even praying. Yes, believe it or not, I can go to a Starbucks to pray (and have coffee with Jesus!). These small getaways are super helpful in “getting myself back”, and even I notice a change in my mood whenever I get home from a quick me time.

But a full vacation? Three full days away from our babies? It seemed incomprehensible to me. It And then I read this:

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”
(Psalms 23:2-3)

Through this passage, I saw that this trip is a chance to refresh my soul, be marveled of God’s creation, and connect with my husband.

God did not only reward us with an all-expense paid trip, He also found ways to make sure our babies are in great care. He fixed our families’ schedule and allowed my sister and parents to look after our three children. The Lord does want to refresh my soul!

So we went on the trip, and am I glad we did. I will share our itinerary and what we ate in another post. On Day 2, Warren and I went sailing and snorkeling, after which, he played nine holes of golf. I made use of this time for my coffee with Jesus, and it was amazing. Warren came back to the room, obviously on a high from golf, and we prayed together in thanksgiving for what we have experienced in the island so far. After we finished, I noticed something on the dining table. It was a framed photo of us from the welcome dinner the night before, and a card containing my husband’s message for ME.

Sometimes we need someone else’s perspective for us to realize that even as we struggle, we are still doing good. Even when things are hard, we can still make a difference in others’ lives. My mundane tasks were just things I check off my list, but little did I realize its contribution to our family life. I am so blessed to have a life partner like my husband.

“I will refresh the weary, and satisfy the faint.”
(Jeremiah 31:25)

These two things made the trip everything I hoped for, and more. Only God will be able to give us strength and satisfy our souls.

If you are reading this, know that I am praying for refreshment and satisfaction of your soul, too.