Last March, Warren and I  took our first trip without the kids… since we had kids almost seven years ago. So it was a little nerve-racking (for me) and very exciting (for my husband).

It helped a lot that it was an all-expense paid trip to the Caribbean, the beautiful islands of Nevis and St. Kitts. No way we would’ve booked ourselves a weekend without the kids, not when Yana is still so little. So yeah, this trip was something.

For me, it was a chance to “not be parents” for a couple of days, except when we were checking and facetiming the kids, which happened a few times in four days. It was a chance to reconnect as individuals and as a couple. Our last alone date was at a fast food chicken place outside the hospital when we were changing shifts while Yana was in the ICU, which was a few months ago.

So here are the five things we did that helped us recharge and reconnect.

1.     We prayed.

This is SUPER important. When we were still dating, we prayed together a lot. We prayed for projects to push through at work. We prayed for our future together (we were in a long-distance relationship at that time). We prayed for the things that we have and the things that we want in life. While we still do this, especially in the car before travel, we have not had one of those long prayers of pure GRATITUDE. And this was what we were looking forward to during the trip.

We prayed one afternoon during our first day on our room’s balcony at the Four Seasons Nevis West Indies. We had the view of the pool and overlooking the trees and the ocean—it was beautiful and relaxing, the kind of view that makes you say, “Thank you, Jesus.” And that, we said. Given the hard 2022 we had (health issues, almost dying giving birth, Yana in the ICU twice in a span of two months), and the worries that kept us up at night, it felt so good to remember JUST HOW GOD STOOD BY US. He has kept us strong and sent us all the needed help. From family members pitching in to help us manage the household to the provisions, God has given. It gave us a perspective of how much God loves us and our family and how He will never forsake us in the darkest days. There is so much to be thankful for and so many blessings we can still share with others.

It felt so good to remember JUST HOW GOD STOOD BY US. He has kept us strong and sent us all the needed help.

Praying together, I know, is a great thing to have in a relationship. But even when we don’t get to, I still pray for Warren. For his happiness, his health, his work fulfillment, and his faithfulness to our marriage. I think it’s one of the fundamentals of our relationship that has kept us strong over the years.

2. We did one thing we had never done before.

Their company has graciously given each guest one activity a day to choose from, which ranged from golf, and spa, to deep sea fishing, catamaran and snorkeling, Rhum tasting, and land tour of the island. Warren and I chose the Catamaran Sailing and Snorkeling for the second day because we’d never ridden a catamaran before, and we’d never snorkeled together. Knowing that we had an activity that we hadn’t done before kept us excited as we prepared for the trip.

We loved every minute of sailing, just being in the crowd and the ocean. It felt so refreshing—and it took us back to when we just started dating.

3. We did one thing we both liked.

So among the listed activities that the company was covering, obviously, Warren would choose golf. So we went on the third day. We hadn’t played together in so long, and it was good to be on the golf course without having to think if we were going to make it back in time to pick up the kids or what to cook for dinner.

I started playing golf for work back when I was in Marketing for a golf company in the Philippines. Even though I haven’t improved over the years, I still love the game. Warren started a few years ago and was hooked. He’s playing really well nowadays, but he remains patient with me and cheers me on with every good shot I make. Doing something we both like was such a great way to reconnect.

4. We spent time together.

There were work functions during the trip (of course, it was sponsored by their company!), but we had a nice dinner on our last night, and we just walked along the shore after. It was dark, but the moonlight shone upon the water and small lights lined up along the dock. We saw the resort’s bars from afar, heard the laugh of the guests, and danced a little to the music the band played. But we stayed by the shorelines, laid in one of those beach beds, and looked at the stars.

We talked about the most random stuff.

For once in a long time, there were no meals to plan, no schedules to discuss, and no chores to do. And it felt nice.

5. We spent time apart.

As surprising, and maybe even a little selfish, as it sounds, I appreciated that we didn’t spend every waking moment together during this trip.

On our second day, after the Catamaran, Warren wanted to play nine holes on the golf course. I declined since we’re playing together the next day anyway. So I got a book, laid on the sand, and read. It was perfect until it drizzled a little bit, and I made my way back to our room. I took a nice long bath, played worship music, read the Bible, and wrote in my journal. I just woke up from a 15-minute nap when Warren returned.  I was literally in tears for the three quiet hours I had. It refreshed my soul.

There was so much about this trip that strengthened our marriage. While it was short, we came back home relaxed, energized, and ready to be parents again.